16 March 2012
I have to say this was definitely a week of highs and lows.
But as frustrating as things may get or seem, I find I am just happy being
here! I feel like I have been learning more about myself too and really find
myself the frustrations that I have which are internal, and those which are
from my surroundings. As cliché as it sounds,
I feel like I’m really learning more about myself and my strengths and
weaknesses, being put into a different cultural context. I have become more
aware of things I wish I could change about myself and of things that are just
who I am no matter where I am. Before departing, some of our literature talked
about the “myth of a personal journey” and how you can’t escape who you are by
going to another place. That passage makes more sense now, but being aware of
this, I think there is a lot of growth in self awareness.
Anyway, thinking back to Monday, this seems to have been a
very long week! On Monday, I nearly completely fell off my bike, and ended up
throwing my bag of bread from the local bakery and some papers I was carrying
on the way home from school, because my gears locked up foot flew off the pedal
and I couldn’t grip the break with my hand full. I cut my leg a bit, and just
had no energy to go to the bike place, because I can’t really explain what
exactly is going on with the pedals, and few people understand my American. I
had a quick lunch and had to rush back to study because I had the printed
copies of all of the upper primaries (5-7) agriculture tests, which the
principal teaches.
On Tuesday after study I stayed later giving some of the
learners “trivia” that has to do with the classes they have with me. One of my
learner’s mother also stopped in and did some addition flashcards. She was so
happy when she got through them all. It was great!
Wednesday was just a long, long day. It’s one of my day with
a lesser load of classes (teaching for 5 periods and off for 3), but just
seemed to go on forever.
Wednesday is technically my day for study, but they
have athletics on Wednesdays, and I really have yet to find my purpose in that,
especially since I cannot even manage them in a classroom, never mind an open
field. I ended up going out to watch some of the soccer playing, but then I
just found myself wishing for fairy dust to make me speak and understand their
language. I finally decided to go back inside at the time when study was
officially done and saw one of my learners, who had been one of the ones
staying late and talking with me and
taking extra reading things and is so smart, playing with my ipod. She had not
asked, and I wasn’t really comfortable with it, because I only had my ear
phones, and I don’t really want those in someone else’s ears and this had been
another long day of constantly rearranging the teacher’s desk in the 6th
grade room and searching for books that kids just take off it without asking,
so I told her and who I thought were her accomplices to just get out. I felt
really bad, but at that point I didn’t know what else to do. These learners had
also taken my camera out of my bag one day when I was not going to use it, and
I did not get upset, and I know the boys who ask to ride my bike one round
around the school, go much further or ride it many more times, but I pretend
not to notice, so this just was a step too far. I think by Friday she was
finally coming around to being ok with me. She was giving some good answers in
English met with encouragement, so maybe she will not hate me! But also will
not just take my things. I was very glad I stayed later at the school though on
Wednesday, because later some learners came in and taught me some more
Rukwangali words -mostly animal names, and I think I forget a lot of what they
were telling me, but it put me in a better mood and it was a relaxing setting
with only four or five of them there. They also wrote for me the Our Father, so
maybe I will know what they are saying the next time I go to mass! I love
seeing how frustrated they get when I can’t pronounce the words, and hope they
can see a little bit into the same difficulties I have when I am trying to
teach them English! I also am still hoping they see my mess ups and are less
scared to make their own, since learning Rukwangali is supposed to be “easy”
according to them. They did teach me the word for “be quiet”, which I threw out
on Thursday and was met with what I think was a stunned silence for about a
minute then back to chattering.
On Thursday, I also came to really understand the
chattering. It was pouring in the morning, and thankfully my principal arranged
with the teacher that lives near me to bring me to school. One of the teachers
never came, so I ended up spending my first three periods, which I’m supposed
to have free, with my 6th grade. Many came in late because of the
rain, and I had put up their morning word of the day and math challenge which
kept them busy and quiet for a while, until they were finishing up and all
throwing notebooks at me to check their math work for a sticker (they LOVE
stickers). That’s when a seventh grade student came in to say they were too
loud. I quite frankly, hadn’t noticed. After they all seemed to have gotten
their stickers, I decided to use the extra time to review all of the words of
the day that would be on their quiz the next day. This seemed to keep them busy
and focused. But having been in the classroom all morning, it really hit me
that all they do is sit in the same place for each class, so no wonder by fourth
period they are anxious and chatty! I decided to play Simon Says to get them up
and moving a bit before starting English class.
In study on Thursday, I was going around making sure they
were had done their spelling homework and stopped to help one learner who had
nothing on it done. I brought over the dictionary to look up the words together
to match the spelling words with their definitions. I have never seen someone
so excited to find a word in the dictionary and then to match it on his paper!
I don’t know how much of an impact I will have on him, or how much English he
will learn from me, but his excitement just made my day!
Finally it is Friday! I think the
day went rather well. Though, I do feel bad that during second to last period
some of the seventh grade boys were asking to use my and I was like why are you
not in class, and one said I need to go home, so I said you can’t take my bike
home with you and told them again to go to class. When I got to them last
period, there were only a handful there, and I could not figure out why so many
decided to leave early on a Friday! But come to find out, they were sent home
to get their parent’s ids for one reason or another I’m not quite sure of, and
the principal was scanning them onto her computer to print, and that is why
they were not there and were going home. Woops!
